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Posted on Tuesday, May 15th, 2012 · 4 Comments
Gentlemen, I need to appeal for your help!
I had a Client come to see me last week, and he was charming and lovely and sexy as hell but he had a complaint about the pictures on my website. Apparently they make me look thinner than I really am! It’s certainly not my intention to deceive, and at the same time, I hate the idea that I’m depriving you of the full glory of the scale of my magnificence…
I have an All-Day photoshoot booked for the 29th of May and I need to get this one right, so, can you help me?
I find photoshoots kind of fun but at the same time I have no real clue what I’m doing – and from the sound of my Client last week this is very apparent. I’m not a model so I have no posing skills other than trying to do what my very talented photographer says – but he is far more used to photographing girls who want to look thinner than they really are so between us we’re not quite really delivering the goods.
I’ve tried looking at SSBBW Webmodel sites but I’m a heterosexual woman and that’s definitely not the target audience. And while I’m very happy with my body, I’m not per se an ‘Admirer’ so I need assistance from you, the experts in the subject.
So, if you are an aficionado of SSBBWs do you have a favourite pose that you like to see? Is there a body part you like to see showcased? Is there a Model or Escort whose gallery you think shows the best of an SSBBWs curves? Can you send me pictures* (or links to pictures) which you think work and would work for me?
And what’s in it for you? Well, the pictures that result will hopefully make you and your fellow SSBBW fans very happy. Even more rewardingly though you’ll be directing my next photoshoot and there aren’t many people who can say that they get to tell me what to do!
Thanks in Advance
Ruby xx
*Subject to the Models copyright!
Posted on Monday, May 14th, 2012 · 6 Comments
It’s come to my attention that not everyone can afford International travel just for the pleasure of my company. Now obviously, if we lived in a fair and just world I would be on full time tour in my own private jet, wending my way from five star Hotel to five star Hotel, supplying great fat sex to the all SSBBW Connoisseurs. Failing that, generous travel grants would be made freely available to enable those of you who live in far distant lands to visit me in London.
Obviously when I’m finally crowned Queen of the Universe I’ll ensure it all happens.
Until that happy day comes to pass however I’m dealing with an increasing number of emails from people asking me if I can chat on the phone, or online, or via webcam with them – and sadly, I always have to say ‘No’ which is a shame as I love meeting new people and I love finding out all about them. I’m also more than happy to talk about myself, my opinions, my weight and my size (but then you might have already guessed that if you’ve ploughed through my self indulgent, narcissistic, billion word blog.)
So, the new option is this – you can chat to me via MSN messenger. I’ll be happy to discuss anything you like so Politics, String Theory and the Environment are all up for argument, as well as more specialized areas of my expertise such as what I weigh, what I measure, being fat, liking fat, what I like to eat, food sex, feeding, fat sex, favourite positions, role-playing and full on, filthy cyber sex. (We can also talk about which CSI is best, the Buffyverse and why any film starring Jason Statham immediately deserves an Oscar if you like as well as the Politics etc – but to be honest; I’m expecting the cyber sex to be more popular.)
Now granted, this is a poor, poor substitute for spending time in the presence of all my ripe, abundant, glorious flesh but if you’re not in the locality it might keep you a reason to live until I am indeed Queen of the Universe or that grant thing comes together…
This is how it works:
- Its £25 for 15 minutes, £35 for 30 minutes or £50 for an hour.
- You have to book an appointment in advance via email. (Bear in mind I am in the UK and therefore operate on GMT rather than whatever time it is where you live.)
- Once you’ve booked and I’ve accepted you pay in advance through Amazon Gift certificates sent to BBWruby@gmail.com.
- We chat via MSN for the allotted time, and if you’re funny, interesting or incredibly sexy then I might be persuaded to stay around :)
- You get my undivided attention. I won’t be chatting with anyone else when I’m online with you.
Things to bear in mind:
- I don’t have any pictures to send that aren’t already on this site or on my Adultwork profile.
- I can’t do webcam and I can’t do Skype.
- If your connection fails, you get interrupted or your dog eats your router then it’s your problem and not mine although I will do what I can to understand and to reschedule.
- If the connection fails at my end I will of course reschedule for you.
So let’s see how it goes. This, like lots of my other daft notions, is just an experiment and I reserve the right to forget I ever suggested it at any time. And, err, deny it all too, obviously, because I’m a women and thats what we do :)
Drop me an email to book.
Ruby xx
Posted on Thursday, May 10th, 2012 · 4 Comments
I committed the ultimate sin recently and cancelled an appointment on a Client. As you can imagine, having chosen me as the Lady he wished to favour with his custom, he was very VERY unimpressed at the news. I emailed and texted him at 8am to let him know that I couldn’t make our appointment at 9pm that night so he had 13 hours notice – which I would hope would be enough for anyone to change their plans without too much disruption.
I still got the short end of his temper though and got told I was unprofessional and unreliable as well as a few other things t00. I replied again to apologise about the unforeseen circumstances and then everything went quiet – until around 8pm that night when I got some more messages which started with him asking if I had changed my mind and ended with (amongst other things) him calling me a filthy, money grubbing, disease ridden whore.
Hmm, ok then. At least he didn’t call me fat.
But the point is, I cancelled the appointment politely and in good time and for valid reasons. I’ll spare you the details but I had a very bad day. The worst kind of day. Apologies if you think I’m being melodramatic but trust me, we’re not just talking the usual split ends/bad hair day fiasco, or even a ‘missed the end of CSI and now I’ll never know whodunnit’ type of crisis – but the kind that comes out of nowhere and knocks you flat on your ass. The kind where you sit and cry endlessly and pointlessly and generally don’t feel like eating or sleeping or talking, and even breathing in and out starts feeling like an un-necessary burden and something you might want to rethink in the very near future. We’ve all been there and with luck and a bit of time we all (hopefully) recover – but until you’ve got over it you’re really not in any fit state to deliver uninhibited, joyful, recreational sex to a complete stranger in exchange for cash.
I’m not a vending machine. When you book me it’s not a case of ‘Insert cash and receive pleasure.’ If you want to buy a piece of meat then go to a Butcher. For better or worse you’re purchasing my time, my personality, my charm, my skills, my knowledge, my intelligence and to a degree, my mood. I’m a professional and I do the very best I can to work out what my clients need and the most sexy, intense, fun way I can deliver it so I really cant just ‘phone it in’ when I’m really not in the mood. I’m a hooker, not an automaton. I’m a person, not a machine.
So, when you turn up at the door for an appointment with me you can be assured that I will be happy to see you. I’ll be cheerful, professional, flirty and already more than half turned on about the idea of finding out all about you and what turns you on. I’ll be bubbling over with ideas for how we can have an amazing time together and how I can send you home after the appointment looking happy, tired and completely ruined for skinny women. In shorthand – I’ll be gagging for it.
But if I do cancel an appointment then I’ll do it reluctantly, regretfully, politely and with as much notice as I can. The bottom line reason will always be that I’m a human being with feelings and a life outside of the bedroom. And if you don’t like that, then frankly, you can go fuck yourself :)
Love Ruby xx
Posted on Tuesday, May 8th, 2012 · No Comments
Things I CAN fit in my Handbag on my way to an Outcall…
- One Lace mini dress to fit an 88inch ass
- A pack of Babywipes (Huggies Pure for preference)
- One six inch vibrator
- One tiny bullet vibrator
- Twelve assorted condoms
- One small bottle silicon lube
- Pack of latex gloves
- Cab Fare
- Oyster Card (amusingly and unsurprisingly unused)
- Keys
- Phone
- Lipstick
- Makeup Compact
- Perfume
- Breath mints
- Deodorant
Things I CANT fit into my Handbag on the way home from an Outcall
All of the above
- Minus 3 condoms
- Plus a pair of panties to fit an 88inch ass added
I’m sad. My favourite handbag has bitten the dust. I decided to put my panties into it for the journey home from an Outcall but when I tried to wedge them in and close the zip the strain was just too much. Who could have imagined a snap decision to go Commando would have such devastating consequences?
I am distraught now though, my beautiful bag with its TARDIS like abilities will be sadly missed and its all my fault for being too lazy to put my knickers back on. Serves me right for being naughty I guess.
On the other hand – I get to go Handbag shopping so I guess it’s not all bad!! All contributions welcome, and if I get the right bag I might even go Commando more often!!
Love Ruby xx
Posted on Tuesday, May 1st, 2012 · 4 Comments
It’s not often that the worlds of Poetry and Prostitution collide but today is a special day. Don’t panic, its not a Poem wot I wrote, just one I am sharing with you. I can’t even attribute the author I’m afraid but if anyone wants to enlighten me I’m always happy to give credit where credit is due :)
So here you go…
Hooray, Hooray, First of May
Outdoor fucking starts today
But as usual it do rain,
So we all fucks off indoors again…
Happy May Day!
Ruby xx